Fire Station Underwear

I decided to go with something lighter after last week’s post. I’m ready to laugh again, so let’s talk underwear. It’s PG-13, by the way.

Since us firefighters live with our teammates for 48 hour shifts, we all end up folding each other’s laundry, whether we want to or not. It only takes one time of coming back to a folded pile of lacy thongs, along with the friendly harassment that comes along with it, to realize that there is a certain level of strategy involved in choosing which underwear to wear at work. At first, you may be tempted to wear your nicest underwear.

(Below: Typical underwear a lady might wear on a typical day)


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(Below: Typical underwear a man might wear on a typical day )


(Picture from—hot-pink-63-p.asp)

If you wore either of these, you would subject yourself to endless harassment.

“Hello, beautiful! Love the shiny panties.”

“I folded your…um…belt. Does your mother know you wear that?”

“Hey, Victoria Secret!”

If there is anything worse than that, it is the poor embarrassed fellow who attempted to fold your underwear, realized that it was descriptive, and then purposefully tossed all the folded laundry back into the dryer, hoping you will think he never saw your precious underthings.

So, you may instead be tempted to wear something a little more conservative.

(Below: Conservative lady panties—Your mom would be so proud)


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(Below: Aged briefs worn by the semi-retired or the divorced dudes, both who’ve been wearing them since they were hired)


When these arise in the wash, you can be guaranteed that NO firefighter will ever comment on them. At least, he will never comment on them to YOU. Instead, you might see a nice photo with a homemade caption, semi-permanently affixed to the washer for the next month, at which time it will transfer to the bathroom stall. Or it might be sent by interoffice mail to the secretary (this did happen).

So, there is a Goldilocks formula for finding the just-right pair of underwear for fire station wear. For women, it is conservative, but not too much so. For men, it is clean and new, but not too suggestive.

(Below: The perfect lady panty for the firehouse)


(Below: The perfect Man brief-Okay, so maybe this isn’t it, but a girl can dream, can’t she?)


(Picture from

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